Eros Station, Spearmint Rhino (Van Nuys), and Deja Vu (again)

With Morley available again for our business of reviewing adult establishments, we faced out first dilemma: Where to this time? After much heated debate we decided, on the basis of having a free entry coupon, to go to the Spearmint Rhino in Van Nuys Oxnard near Sepulveda). To make it a double-header (no pun intended), we decided to also pay a visit to Eros Station a few blocks away (Oxnard, closer to Sepulveda).

Eros Station
This place is a video store in front and a "lingerie modeling" studio in back. When we entered there were maybe 3 customers in the front and none in back as we could tell. The video part of the store is nothing special. It couldn't compare to a real video store, like 20/20 up on Sepulveda at Victory. Turth be told, we weren't there for the videos anyway. We were interested in the "lingerie modeling" and inquired about such.

In back we found 3 women - 2 sitting on couches and one working on a computer. The 2 sitting looked bored, very bored. I asked one who looked a tad like a crack whore what was the deal. She said they would basically model lingerie while I pleasured myself. No touching of the models. The cost? The cheapest entry was $30 for 10 minutes but it was really double that as you had to pay the house $30 and tip the model $30. At the other end of price was an hour for, like $100, but double that for the real cost.

No touching the models? Pleasure myself? No thanks. I could do better with a bottle of olive oil and an adult DVD. Maybe you could work a deal with the girls to allow some touching but we didn't want to find out.

We left and walked the few blocks to...

Spearmint Rhino

We were nervous. Would this place usurp Deja Vu as our number one? Would we meet a dancer somehow more amazing than our number one in NeverTame?

Our coupons got us in for free. Good start. We entered into a room with a fairly large main stage horseshoed by chairs, plus a "bar" (no alcohol) / stage. Semi-private areas ringed the perimeter.

There were 2 other customers in the audience. More at the bar. We sat down and waited.

And waited.

5 minutes. No waitress. No girls asking if we wanted a lap dance.

The DJ was nicely subdued. The girl dancing looked bored but no tattoos. The lighting wasn't strobe but it kept moving and was most annoying.

A waitress finally approached and we ordered our drinks. $5 each - very reasonable.

Another dancer. Nice body, no tattoos.

Then she came out. A blonde with a smoking-hot body. Unbelievably hot. She came over to Morley...

"Wanna dance?" Morley politely declined and that was it. She didn't approach me, didn't attempt small talk. Awesome looking girl ruined by a complete lack of game. She sat behind us and noisily chewed her gum. About ten minutes later, she approached me and asked about a dance. No thanks.

We lasted about an hour before serious boredom set in. With one exception, none of the girls had any game. Most looked very bored or hung around with their regulars at the bar. The one exception was a Columbian girl named Danni who actually talked to Morley for a good 5 minutes before asking about a dance.

Pros:

Relatively sedate atmosphere

Few niche dancers or dancers with tattoos

Fairly priced

DJ blended in the background

We weren't approached every minute for lap dances

Cons:

Most girls couldn't dance

Most girls had no game

Booooring, on a Saturday night no less!

One incident summarizes the evening: One of the dancers was zombieing her way through her routine when she reached down to the floor and then held up her finger. Obviously the floor was wet or sticky. She stopped "dancing" and went over towards the DJ...

Dancer: "Hey, I can't dance. The floor's disgusting."

DJ: "That's your problem."

So she left the stage. A couple of minutes later the stage lights went out and, in the dark, she came out with towels and cleaner. At this point us Dimms were feeling really dim. We kept saying "At Deja Vu this (cleaning) would be part of the show". In fact, we kept comparing everything at the Rhino to Deja Vu and how much better things were done at the Vu. So off we went to our current number one spot...

Deja Vu (NoHo)

If we were nervous before going to the Rhino, we were more nervous entering Deja Vu. Would NeverTame remember us from weeks past?

We paid our $10 for the mandatory drink/admission, went through the turnstile, turned left, and heard a shriek. NeverTame was right there. She smiled at us, flew over, and gave us a big hug, both of us simultaneously, NeverTame style.

And that was it for the next 3 hours. We settled in chairs near the stage, chatted with the girls particularly NeverTame and one of the waitresses, and had a great time. The place was rocking, the DJ not so condescending, NeverTame again ruled the pole dancing (though we noticed a couple of the other girls upped their pole game), the waitresses made a great show of cleaning the stage.

There was one bachelor and one birthday girl who got rocked and rolled on stage.

Sydney made a valiant attempt to get a lap dance from us, not taking "No thanks!" for an answer. Only when we mentioned we were loyal to NT did she leave us alone. Same with Charms. She left me alone after I said I was an NT devotee. In fact, we were pretty much left alone. Maybe word got around we were firm in the NT camp.

In all, it felt comfortable and relaxing. We're thinking DJV may become the official Dimm hangout.

So, to summarize, Eros Station is best avoided unles you like getting your rocks off in front of untouchable dancers. Spearmint Rhino must be better if you're a regular but we were too bored. No way would we become regulars. The North Hollywood Deja Vu still reigns as the best Valley entertainment and NeverTame still reigns as the most skilled, most personable, complete dancer.