Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we bother going to other clubs when we know damn well Deja Vu (North Hollywood) is THE hottest club in the freaking Valley? Why? Because we're Dimm, that's why. If we had any brain matter, we'd be the Bright Brothers.
We went to VIP Showgirls on Victory (at Laurel Canyon) a little too early, about 7:00. We were the audience. Two of us. Four dancers. The first girl danced but we couldn't see anything because the strobe lights were too pulsating. We thought we would have strokes from them. Morley here!! Gosh Les, I thought she might have been cute but even with clean glasses, I could not see her. I agree that she was friendly but unfortunately she had no game. When asked how much a half hour was, she replied she did not know because she never had done one!!!??? After her dance she came and sat with us, made her obligatory offer which we politely refused. After all, we just go there.
But kudos to her, she stayed and talked with us for about 1/2 hour. Why not? What else is she going to do? This should be a common sense rule for the dancers. If things are slow, talk to whatever customers are there. If you build up a little rapport, good things may happen.
She stayed, she talked, told us that things were pretty dead until maybe eleven. She also mentioned that because it had been so dead lately that many of the eight o'clock shift tended to show up at eleven even though they'd be docked for being late. That told us that when her shift ended before eight, that there's a good chance there wouldn't be any dancers. She also said that many people ended up going to DJVNH. That was the hot spot.
The music was too loud. DJs take note. If you have little or no audience, tone the music way down.Morley adds, hey dj figure out how to work the speakers. The one over our head was on full blast for awhile and then turned off. Hmm, maybe it was broken and since you have no customers, no one could tell you.
The room was nice - large stage, tables set fairly far apart. It was just DOA so we left.
Deja Vu (North Hollywood) like all the previous times was somewhat empty when we got there. Yay, as we got "our table". We were greeted by our favorite dancer NeverTame, who was in turn greeted by a club connoisseur like us. Porker, if you read this, drop us a line. It was great talking with you. You've made compelling arguments about a COI run.Morley says: I agree with Lester. It was a pleasure to talk to you. Let's do a COI run sometime.
Also, we have to applaud the DJ Sal. He had the music hitting just right - good mix, right rhythms.This guy is good. He really appreciates it when customers praise his work. Well Sal,you were on last night.
We had a great time yet the night was strange. The place was packed but with sealed wallet lookie-loos. The girls seemed very frustrated. No one was buying. They ran special after special but no action. They tried a bizarre poker concept - buy dances, get a card. Person with the best poker hand at the end wins prizes. It didn't click with us and we suspect many of the girls weren't too into it either. [Hey, how about having the girls arm wrestle? $10 on NeverTame to win it all!] When we left at 12:30 there was a huge line waiting to get in. Maybe that picked things up.
It seems like every time we visit there's girls we hadn't seen before. I must mention Schwinn, whose pole dancing was magnificent, arguably better than NeverTame. Yet where a dancer like NeverTame rises above is that NeverTame dances for the audience. Schwinn seemed like she danced for herself, kind of removed from us. She was still very entertaining to watch, though her walking around with a pacifier was a tad disturbing.You know, usually I agree with everything Lester writes but dude. Yes she can pole dance but she needs to remember why she is there. She is not there to act like she owns the club and is the only one there. Only once did I see her attempt to approach a customer. When she danced, I saw $2 on the stage at the end.
Get a clue. Maybe she is in a situation where she does not need the money and only wants some of the other girls to watch her (whoops, did I say that?).
Another dancer who I will not name committed, we feel, a cardinal stripper rule. When on stage and customers (in this case including Morley and myself) drop a few bills, it's a clue that perhaps you should pay them a visit after your routine. She did. She visited me and asked about a dance, which I refused, suggesting to her that perhaps she should ask Morley. She didn't. She walked away to talk with her girlfriends. Later, when she was up on stage again, Morley went up and tipped her. After her dance, nothing. She didn't come by to ask Morley or any of the other tippers about a dance. Hey girl, you could have made a little more money if you'd worked those that tipped you. Those were your best odds of a dance customers. Yes, I agree Lester. This girl has a smoking body along with the seductive looks of an Asian (?), I was very enthralled. But wait a minute, am I supposed to chase her around the club interrupting her chats with a couple of the other girls? I thought that was her job. Yes, I was somewhat disappointed but by the end of the night, who cares. Why, you say? Because Lester and I were discussing the beauty of another girl when she noticed us looking at her. She walked over and sat down with us, asking if we were talking about her. Well, yes we were. This girl was absolutely beautiful with eyes that lock you in immediately. She had no problem with making eye contact. One cannot overlook her amazing body but her beauty stands out among the other girls. Guys, she is definitely not "plain."
Who wasn't there to Morley's great disappointment was his favorite waitress but the other waitresses were so pleasant that by the time we left, he was almost back to normal. Yeah, the waitresses at DJVNH are spectacular and more fun to watch than many of the dancers. Lester, I was disappointed but again you were right. Her cousin and the other girls were pleasant and very entertaining.
The Dimms will be on hiatus for about a month as Morley has business. When he returns, we'll have more tales.Ah Lester, you want to live your life vicariously through mine. Ok, I will try to live up to expectations!!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Bare Elegance and Back to Deja Vu
Bare Elegance and Back to Deja Vu.
There's a simple pattern forming. Morley and I go out to a club other than Deja Vu (North Hollywood), get bored, and end at Deja Vu. We'll admit our review process is a bit biased because we're visiting the unreviewed clubs before peak times. However, we feel that we're still able to get a sense of the ambience and quality of the place.
For example, this week we went to Bare Elegance (formerly Valley Ball Cabaret) on Sepulveda in the Valley. We got there about 7 and we made up half the audience. OK. We counted five girls working.
It'd be too easy to immediately trash review the place but instead I'm going to give the girls some props. Sure, they sported a variety of tattoos but bless them they didn't zombie their way through songs and worse for them they were competing with the NCAA tournament on the telly. When they came around they were polite, cute even, but not conversationalists. At least, not with us. With such a small audience they should have tried.
The DJ was somewhat clueless with the music and stage directions, calling out specials when really why bother? There were only four of us. The music was a bit too loud. The stage lighting was a tad too dark
We left and likely won't return anytime soon.
Back to our favorite haunt, to our...OK, my favorite dancer Never Tame. Morley found himself fixated on one of the waitresses and rightly so. The waitresses at DJV are something else. They are easily as sexy and, when cleaning the stage, entertaining as most of the dancers. They're soooo nice.
Watching Never Tame again (and again) I realized that part of her magic, in addition to her tremendous personality, is that she's one hell of a dancer. She dances to and interprets the music. I've yet see her repeat a dance. Each one has been different.
Morley and I both found ourselves intrigued by Hennessy, a rather exotic-looking Indian (?) dancer with a fantastic body. However, we never saw her on the floor asking about dances.
Another week and DJV continues to reign.
There's a simple pattern forming. Morley and I go out to a club other than Deja Vu (North Hollywood), get bored, and end at Deja Vu. We'll admit our review process is a bit biased because we're visiting the unreviewed clubs before peak times. However, we feel that we're still able to get a sense of the ambience and quality of the place.
For example, this week we went to Bare Elegance (formerly Valley Ball Cabaret) on Sepulveda in the Valley. We got there about 7 and we made up half the audience. OK. We counted five girls working.
It'd be too easy to immediately trash review the place but instead I'm going to give the girls some props. Sure, they sported a variety of tattoos but bless them they didn't zombie their way through songs and worse for them they were competing with the NCAA tournament on the telly. When they came around they were polite, cute even, but not conversationalists. At least, not with us. With such a small audience they should have tried.
The DJ was somewhat clueless with the music and stage directions, calling out specials when really why bother? There were only four of us. The music was a bit too loud. The stage lighting was a tad too dark
We left and likely won't return anytime soon.
Back to our favorite haunt, to our...OK, my favorite dancer Never Tame. Morley found himself fixated on one of the waitresses and rightly so. The waitresses at DJV are something else. They are easily as sexy and, when cleaning the stage, entertaining as most of the dancers. They're soooo nice.
Watching Never Tame again (and again) I realized that part of her magic, in addition to her tremendous personality, is that she's one hell of a dancer. She dances to and interprets the music. I've yet see her repeat a dance. Each one has been different.
Morley and I both found ourselves intrigued by Hennessy, a rather exotic-looking Indian (?) dancer with a fantastic body. However, we never saw her on the floor asking about dances.
Another week and DJV continues to reign.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Eros Station, Spearmint Rhino (Van Nuys), and Deja Vu (again)
With Morley available again for our business of reviewing adult establishments, we faced out first dilemma: Where to this time? After much heated debate we decided, on the basis of having a free entry coupon, to go to the Spearmint Rhino in Van Nuys Oxnard near Sepulveda). To make it a double-header (no pun intended), we decided to also pay a visit to Eros Station a few blocks away (Oxnard, closer to Sepulveda).
Eros Station
This place is a video store in front and a "lingerie modeling" studio in back. When we entered there were maybe 3 customers in the front and none in back as we could tell. The video part of the store is nothing special. It couldn't compare to a real video store, like 20/20 up on Sepulveda at Victory. Turth be told, we weren't there for the videos anyway. We were interested in the "lingerie modeling" and inquired about such.
In back we found 3 women - 2 sitting on couches and one working on a computer. The 2 sitting looked bored, very bored. I asked one who looked a tad like a crack whore what was the deal. She said they would basically model lingerie while I pleasured myself. No touching of the models. The cost? The cheapest entry was $30 for 10 minutes but it was really double that as you had to pay the house $30 and tip the model $30. At the other end of price was an hour for, like $100, but double that for the real cost.
No touching the models? Pleasure myself? No thanks. I could do better with a bottle of olive oil and an adult DVD. Maybe you could work a deal with the girls to allow some touching but we didn't want to find out.
We left and walked the few blocks to...
Spearmint Rhino
We were nervous. Would this place usurp Deja Vu as our number one? Would we meet a dancer somehow more amazing than our number one in NeverTame?
Our coupons got us in for free. Good start. We entered into a room with a fairly large main stage horseshoed by chairs, plus a "bar" (no alcohol) / stage. Semi-private areas ringed the perimeter.
There were 2 other customers in the audience. More at the bar. We sat down and waited.
And waited.
5 minutes. No waitress. No girls asking if we wanted a lap dance.
The DJ was nicely subdued. The girl dancing looked bored but no tattoos. The lighting wasn't strobe but it kept moving and was most annoying.
A waitress finally approached and we ordered our drinks. $5 each - very reasonable.
Another dancer. Nice body, no tattoos.
Then she came out. A blonde with a smoking-hot body. Unbelievably hot. She came over to Morley...
"Wanna dance?" Morley politely declined and that was it. She didn't approach me, didn't attempt small talk. Awesome looking girl ruined by a complete lack of game. She sat behind us and noisily chewed her gum. About ten minutes later, she approached me and asked about a dance. No thanks.
We lasted about an hour before serious boredom set in. With one exception, none of the girls had any game. Most looked very bored or hung around with their regulars at the bar. The one exception was a Columbian girl named Danni who actually talked to Morley for a good 5 minutes before asking about a dance.
Pros:
Relatively sedate atmosphere
Few niche dancers or dancers with tattoos
Fairly priced
DJ blended in the background
We weren't approached every minute for lap dances
Cons:
Most girls couldn't dance
Most girls had no game
Booooring, on a Saturday night no less!
One incident summarizes the evening: One of the dancers was zombieing her way through her routine when she reached down to the floor and then held up her finger. Obviously the floor was wet or sticky. She stopped "dancing" and went over towards the DJ...
Dancer: "Hey, I can't dance. The floor's disgusting."
DJ: "That's your problem."
So she left the stage. A couple of minutes later the stage lights went out and, in the dark, she came out with towels and cleaner. At this point us Dimms were feeling really dim. We kept saying "At Deja Vu this (cleaning) would be part of the show". In fact, we kept comparing everything at the Rhino to Deja Vu and how much better things were done at the Vu. So off we went to our current number one spot...
Deja Vu (NoHo)
If we were nervous before going to the Rhino, we were more nervous entering Deja Vu. Would NeverTame remember us from weeks past?
We paid our $10 for the mandatory drink/admission, went through the turnstile, turned left, and heard a shriek. NeverTame was right there. She smiled at us, flew over, and gave us a big hug, both of us simultaneously, NeverTame style.
And that was it for the next 3 hours. We settled in chairs near the stage, chatted with the girls particularly NeverTame and one of the waitresses, and had a great time. The place was rocking, the DJ not so condescending, NeverTame again ruled the pole dancing (though we noticed a couple of the other girls upped their pole game), the waitresses made a great show of cleaning the stage.
There was one bachelor and one birthday girl who got rocked and rolled on stage.
Sydney made a valiant attempt to get a lap dance from us, not taking "No thanks!" for an answer. Only when we mentioned we were loyal to NT did she leave us alone. Same with Charms. She left me alone after I said I was an NT devotee. In fact, we were pretty much left alone. Maybe word got around we were firm in the NT camp.
In all, it felt comfortable and relaxing. We're thinking DJV may become the official Dimm hangout.
So, to summarize, Eros Station is best avoided unles you like getting your rocks off in front of untouchable dancers. Spearmint Rhino must be better if you're a regular but we were too bored. No way would we become regulars. The North Hollywood Deja Vu still reigns as the best Valley entertainment and NeverTame still reigns as the most skilled, most personable, complete dancer.
Eros Station
This place is a video store in front and a "lingerie modeling" studio in back. When we entered there were maybe 3 customers in the front and none in back as we could tell. The video part of the store is nothing special. It couldn't compare to a real video store, like 20/20 up on Sepulveda at Victory. Turth be told, we weren't there for the videos anyway. We were interested in the "lingerie modeling" and inquired about such.
In back we found 3 women - 2 sitting on couches and one working on a computer. The 2 sitting looked bored, very bored. I asked one who looked a tad like a crack whore what was the deal. She said they would basically model lingerie while I pleasured myself. No touching of the models. The cost? The cheapest entry was $30 for 10 minutes but it was really double that as you had to pay the house $30 and tip the model $30. At the other end of price was an hour for, like $100, but double that for the real cost.
No touching the models? Pleasure myself? No thanks. I could do better with a bottle of olive oil and an adult DVD. Maybe you could work a deal with the girls to allow some touching but we didn't want to find out.
We left and walked the few blocks to...
Spearmint Rhino
We were nervous. Would this place usurp Deja Vu as our number one? Would we meet a dancer somehow more amazing than our number one in NeverTame?
Our coupons got us in for free. Good start. We entered into a room with a fairly large main stage horseshoed by chairs, plus a "bar" (no alcohol) / stage. Semi-private areas ringed the perimeter.
There were 2 other customers in the audience. More at the bar. We sat down and waited.
And waited.
5 minutes. No waitress. No girls asking if we wanted a lap dance.
The DJ was nicely subdued. The girl dancing looked bored but no tattoos. The lighting wasn't strobe but it kept moving and was most annoying.
A waitress finally approached and we ordered our drinks. $5 each - very reasonable.
Another dancer. Nice body, no tattoos.
Then she came out. A blonde with a smoking-hot body. Unbelievably hot. She came over to Morley...
"Wanna dance?" Morley politely declined and that was it. She didn't approach me, didn't attempt small talk. Awesome looking girl ruined by a complete lack of game. She sat behind us and noisily chewed her gum. About ten minutes later, she approached me and asked about a dance. No thanks.
We lasted about an hour before serious boredom set in. With one exception, none of the girls had any game. Most looked very bored or hung around with their regulars at the bar. The one exception was a Columbian girl named Danni who actually talked to Morley for a good 5 minutes before asking about a dance.
Pros:
Cons:
One incident summarizes the evening: One of the dancers was zombieing her way through her routine when she reached down to the floor and then held up her finger. Obviously the floor was wet or sticky. She stopped "dancing" and went over towards the DJ...
Dancer: "Hey, I can't dance. The floor's disgusting."
DJ: "That's your problem."
So she left the stage. A couple of minutes later the stage lights went out and, in the dark, she came out with towels and cleaner. At this point us Dimms were feeling really dim. We kept saying "At Deja Vu this (cleaning) would be part of the show". In fact, we kept comparing everything at the Rhino to Deja Vu and how much better things were done at the Vu. So off we went to our current number one spot...
Deja Vu (NoHo)
If we were nervous before going to the Rhino, we were more nervous entering Deja Vu. Would NeverTame remember us from weeks past?
We paid our $10 for the mandatory drink/admission, went through the turnstile, turned left, and heard a shriek. NeverTame was right there. She smiled at us, flew over, and gave us a big hug, both of us simultaneously, NeverTame style.
And that was it for the next 3 hours. We settled in chairs near the stage, chatted with the girls particularly NeverTame and one of the waitresses, and had a great time. The place was rocking, the DJ not so condescending, NeverTame again ruled the pole dancing (though we noticed a couple of the other girls upped their pole game), the waitresses made a great show of cleaning the stage.
There was one bachelor and one birthday girl who got rocked and rolled on stage.
Sydney made a valiant attempt to get a lap dance from us, not taking "No thanks!" for an answer. Only when we mentioned we were loyal to NT did she leave us alone. Same with Charms. She left me alone after I said I was an NT devotee. In fact, we were pretty much left alone. Maybe word got around we were firm in the NT camp.
In all, it felt comfortable and relaxing. We're thinking DJV may become the official Dimm hangout.
So, to summarize, Eros Station is best avoided unles you like getting your rocks off in front of untouchable dancers. Spearmint Rhino must be better if you're a regular but we were too bored. No way would we become regulars. The North Hollywood Deja Vu still reigns as the best Valley entertainment and NeverTame still reigns as the most skilled, most personable, complete dancer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)