Club Fantasy

I have seen the light, or at least the future for the Dimmbros. No more strip clubs. Morley, Randolph and I went to Club Fantasy on 4th at Hill in Downtown LA. Randolph had been there a few times and had been saying that we had to go. Morley and I were suspicious, more so as we drove through downtown at night, not a place for visiting.

The security guard moved the cones so we could enter the private parking lot. OK. The security guard outside the entrance gave the three of us The Look as we entered and descended the stairs. What the hell? The Club was underground? What was Randolph leading us into? We heard slow music as we walked down the hallway and entered.

That's when the differences to a strip club became apparent.

First, the entrance was $7 as opposed to $20 (or $10 with a coupon). Second, we go to the girls. They don't come to you. Third, they don't rip you off on drinks.

Club Fantasy is hostess dancing. You choose a girl and go into a "Couples Only" area where you can dance or just sit and talk, or watch TV. Your choice. There's no nudity, at least, none that the Security should catch.

The challenge is asking a girl. The problem is two-fold. One, you have a bunch of guys who want to ask a girl but just can't so they sit or stand around. That's a strange feeling. The other problem is that the girls sit on couches and it does tend to be a bit dark in the place. You can't really walk around and scope them out - you could but it'd be somewhat impolite - so you tend to wait to see them get up. It would help tremendously if the girls would periodically walk around. They'd get more action that way guaranteed.

I selected a girl who, on a scale of 1 to 10, would get a conservative rating of, ummm, 10. She was a petite latina with a perfect face and body (No tats. No implants.) and a super sweet personality. She was simply precious. For an old fart like me to spend an hour with her, talking and dancing, was just nice.

And here's what made it so great. For a 5-minute lap dance at a strip club you'd be looking at $40 easy. The hour - one full hour - I spent with this gorgeous woman cost $30.

You pay by the minute (minimum 10 minutes) but at that price you can sample for next to nothing. $5 to close-dance with a girl. Don't like her? Try another.

The girls. I'd say the three of us did rather well. My little latina was spectacular. When I clocked her out she was immediately clocked right back in. Randolph also hooked up with a cute latina and Morley found himself a tall Chinese-American. For the most part the girls tend towards Latina and American but not the tattooed skanks you commonly find at a strip joint. Yes, quite a few had implants. Some were "mature" but they had a nice variety and at least half were most acceptable.

Speaking for myself, that's it for strip clubs, except for Shotgun Willies. There's a new heaven in town and it's Club Fantasy.